Plus: Humans vs. robots – who’s faster?
GM. Feeling a little pulp-struck by the latest headlines? Let’s press those market updates into something smooth and refreshing.
🇺🇸 What did Donald Trump do on Day One?
🍋 News drops: Vitalik Buterin’s response to criticism, humans vs. robots race in China + more
🍍 Market flavor today
Yeahh, so yesterday was kinda embarrassing for all those who told everyone at work, “f*ck off, I’m outta here after January 20 anyway” (P.S. If you need help with an apology message to send on Slack, hmu).
The crypto community expected Donald Trump to give crypto a shout-out either in his inauguration speech or through an executive order. Spoiler: didn’t happen.
Naturally, the glass started looking half-empty for many investors, so Bitcoin took a step back from the $109K level it reached yesterday to just over $100K.
Still, the Fear & Greed Index shows that investors remain pretty hyped about what’s next.
Duh, just because crypto didn’t get mentioned yesterday doesn’t mean the topic’s off the table for good. Matter of fact, MacroScope pointed out that bringing up Bitcoin in that speech would’ve been inappropriate in general.
And hey, you know what they say – when in doubt, zoom out:
Crypto markets, man. One day they’re giving you a reason to be cocky; the next, they watch you trip over your own confidence.
But… what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?.. Right?..
🥝 Memecoin harvest
The recipe for today’s memecoins: part joke, part hype, 100% sending 🚀
Name
24H Change
Barron William Trump BWT
▲15.3K%
Justice for ZachXBT ZACHXBT
▲12.2K%
TrustInWeb3 T3AI
▲198%
QudeAI Framework QUDE
▲123%
Data as of 06:40 AM EST.
Check out these memecoins and plenty more here.
… one day, for now.
Like we said before, Trump didn’t do much for crypto on his first day in office – no strategic Bitcoin reserve announcements, no Ross Ulbricht pardons, basically nothing that was promised for this industry.
That said, we can’t say that absolutely nothing entertaining happened:
1/ Reactions to Trump memecoins
Remember the TRUMP and MELANIA mess we talked about yesterday? (Those of you who didn’t read it 🤨, check it out here).
Well, California Rep. Maxine Waters wasn’t amused. Hell, she was even concerned. Her take:
It’s a cash grab riding on Trump’s name, with zero real value;
People buying in could end up stuck with worthless tokens if insiders sell out;
The lack of transparency about who bought the token could be a national security issue since foreign adversaries or sanctioned individuals were able to transfer money to him anonymously;
It makes crypto look even more untrustworthy.
2/ SEC says bye to Gary Gensler
It’s official: yesterday was Gary Gensler’s last day as SEC Chair.
In their farewell statement, the commission thanked him for his “diligence and creativity,” which is code for, “You really had to think outside the box to file 100+ lawsuits against crypto companies.”
So long, Gary. Hope we never have to cross paths again! 🥰
3/ New faces (kind of)
Mark Uyeda will temporarily replace Gensler as Chair at the SEC – until Trump’s nominee (Paul Atkins) gets confirmed by the Senate. We like Uyeda 😃👍 – he was critical of Gensler’s strict approach to crypto;
Meanwhile, Caroline Pham is stepping in as Acting CFTC Chair. We also like her 😃👍 – she’s been calling for better crypto regulations for a while now.
4/ DOGE updates
Yes, Trump signed an executive order to create the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), and yes, the official site features Dogecoin 🥹
And you know what? They already did their first “efficiency cut” – Vivek Ramaswamy, who was supposed to co-lead DOGE with Elon Musk, quit before anything even started.
He’s got ✨ bigger dreams ✨ now – running for Ohio governor.
Rumor also has it there’s some tension between him and Musk, especially after Vivek’s rant about how American culture has “venerated mediocrity over excellence” and how that’s the reason why big tech companies tend to hire foreign engineers.
Either way, all this drama has been great for Dogecoin:
Aaaand that’s the tea for now. Yeah, day one didn’t bring a crypto revolution, but we did get a bizarre start – which is very on-brand for crypto.
Liking the juice? 🍋 Don’t gatekeep this one – share the Daily Squeeze and let your friends get a taste of Web3 sweetness!
Fair warning, tho’: you’ll have to carry the weight of becoming a hero.
🍋 News drops
🗑 Trump hasn’t signed off on anything crypto-related yet, but he did scrap Biden’s executive order on AI. This order required AI developers to share safety tests with the government to help avoid major risks.
💬 People are urging the Ethereum Foundation to stake its Ether and earn interest instead of selling tokens to cover expenses. In response, Vitalik Buterin said they’re working on ways to ease their staking worries.
🏃 China’s cooking up something that feels like a sci-fi fever dream: 12,000 humans vs. an army of humanoid robots in a 21-kilometer race. And it’s not just for show either; cash prizes are on the line, whether you’re powered by muscles or motherboards.
🤝 The Hashgraph Association teamed up with Taurus, a digital asset infrastructure provider. They’re making it easier for banks and big companies to safely stash, stake, and tokenize HBAR and other assets.
🇲🇹 The Winklevoss twins’ crypto exchange, Gemini, chose Malta to set up their compliance hub. The goal? To ensure they’re fully aligned with Europe’s new MiCA regulations.
🧃 Sip of knowledge
Learn about the WhiteBridge project with the latest BitDegree Mission, “WhiteBridge: AI Agent-Driven People Research”:
🍌 Juicy memes
